Midgar High School

(There was once a boy who had loved his mother and had idolized his father.)

He opened his eyes and could not focus, never resting on one point, rolling in the back of his head like a river a wave, everything gray.

If either one well and good and fine, he thought, still dreaming. Where is the promise extraneous. When the wheel and turning with the other ones and fine and fire maybe.

Flashes, flashes. Like hot drills, like alien eyes, like love lost, digging around in his skull, searching for him.

He moaned.

Pain. The first coherent thought, maybe the last.

(He had been in the fetal position too, back then. Always that way, with his knees pulled up to his chest and his face hidden in his legs. He had always been such a coward.)

(Always.)

There was a woman there. He could not remember the relationship, he could not remember the way they had been. His head hurt like it had been opened and closed and opened and closed...

She said something. He did not understand it. She frowned. He did not understand it.

(He wanted to be...like his father. His father was never afraid. The boy was always afraid, of everything.)

He moaned again, feeling drool dripping from his chin to his chest. He was crying; tears were coming out of him, falling into his ears.

What...? he thought. My...head...is so...

Soft sobbing. Not too harsh, or it would make the pain rip more.

She said something else, examining his pupils with a flashlight.

"Good morning, Reno."

(His father had found him, that time. "You shouldn't have hit her, Reno. You know that.")

"L..." his mouth worked. "L...u..."

A small smile, less malicious than it was proud. "Yes, tell me."

(He had been crying, his hands had been so small. "It isn't my fault!")

Crying. Coughing. His skull was so sore, ripped. "Lu...cy..."

He began to sob, hack his breathing. He was...still tied down...to that table...?

Fuck. They really...meant it. Didn't they?

("Yes, it is." Arms had tightened around his shoulders, drawing him.)

"You seem to be doing surprisingly well, considering everything." Why did she sound so normal? How could she...even sleep? What could she dream about?

(He cried, so sorry. I just want to be like...you.)

They really...did it to me. What the fuck did they do...?

"There, there. No more crying," Lucrecia said. "It gives me that nasty licey feeling."

Cracked my brain open, fished around...but what did they do?

("You cannot hit your sisters ever again. Do you understand me?")

He closed his eyes, bobbed his head. "Seph...iroth."

She actually patted him on the head. The bitch must be in a particularly good mood. "Not here yet. He's a little slow."

There was something else...his memory was so bad.

"Tifa." He looked at the corner. The tube was no longer there.

(He shook his head, indignant. "But they hit me first!")

Lucrecia looked as well. "Ah, yes. Jenny is taking care of her. We are waiting for your silly lovers to get here. I wonder if Sephiroth will snap..." she leaned close, "...when he sees what we have done to you. You'll both snap together. Him first. Then you, when you see what he really is."

She smiled, pleased. Reno started to cry again. His brain hurt so badly. He wanted his mother, he wanted Sephiroth, he wanted to break the evil woman's face.

"What did you do to me?" his head rolled. His arms tensed, felt strange.

("That doesn't matter, Reno." He had never seen his father look so grim. "You cannot hit a girl back. It is a rule that boys have to follow.")

Something snapped, and he was staring at his hand, which was now free. He looked at Lucrecia, surprised. "I..."

Lucrecia stepped back. "Oh. Damn it."

He pulled the neck strap away with a rip and sat up, staring at it, then at her, horrified. "What have you done?"

("That's not fair! I'm the only boy! They'll beat up on me!")

Lucrecia pressed a button on the wall. "Daijy? Get down here, now."

("No." His father shook one finger. "You will stop beating up on them. You will protect them. All girls. From now on. Promise me.")

He wiped the drool from his chin with that hand, ripped the other strap away from the other hand, frightened at himself. "What the fuck did you do!?"

Lucrecia smiled. "I just improved you a thousand fold. You should be thanking me."

The feet straps next, like they were paper. "I..." His blood froze. He looked up at the woman, glaring.

"I should kill you."

("I promise, dad.")

He leapt, fast-fast, her eyes went wide as his hand circled her throat. She was taller than him, but he lifted her and slammed her into the wall, knowing somehow that he could do it, feeling the promise sing strangely in his muscles, in his bones.

("So no more beating up on your sisters? No more hurting girls?")

Her eyes bulged, she clasped at his wrist, trying to breathe.

"I hate you!" Reno was breathing hard, eyes crazy. "I told you to leave me the fuck alone!" Squeezed a little more, she choked. "I told you to leave Sephiroth the fuck alone! But you never listened, ever!" He heard her gasping, heard someone coming down the stairs. His hearing was preternatural now.

("I won't. I'm sorry.")

Suddenly, he unclenched his hand and she slid to the floor. He stepped back, staring at his hand. It looked different.

Slowly, slowly, he turned and looked at Kadaj, who was staring at him from the bottom of the stairs.

“What is...he’s loose?” he asked, looking to Lucrecia.

She was rubbing her throat. “I would appreciate it if you were ever around to help, Daijy.”

Kadaj did not answer her.

Reno was stepping back, still looking at his hands. “What is...this...? What the fuck is wrong...with me...? Am I like...Sephiroth now?”

He looked around for the exit, to run. But Kadaj was already there, punching him. “You will never be like him, you shit.”

And as they began to fight, Reno could only think...

This is how he feels. I...understand it, now. I wanted to...kill her.

Sephiroth. I am...a hypocrite.