Midgar High School

Sometimes, I wonder if Rufus were to stop noticing me, I wouldn’t exist anymore.

That may sound dramatic, maybe a little naïve, but I do wonder sometimes. Being short and Wutain means you can get lost in the crowd... being not really good at anything makes it even more so.

I try to have discipline. That’s what Rufus used to tell me to do, work on my discipline and good things would come of it. He really is my mentor, not matter what Reno grumbles about. He’s taught me that my worth is dependent on how much power I have. And to get power... you have to train under a wizard.

Don’t laugh, I’m serious.

Maybe magic doesn’t exist like it does in our games. But power is magic. Influence is magic... just look at its effects. Rufus wields both like wands.... I’m just the apprentice. I’m still learning, still toughening up. I want to be just like him, you know. I hate being Wutain, I hate being short. I hate that my parents force their beliefs on me.

I didn’t want the little brand in the middle of my forehead. I didn’t want this dark hair and dark eyes.

Rufus says I look beautiful, but he’s supposed to. Not your average relationship, but then who gets that? I know that I love him, and I think he does too. He wouldn’t spend so much time helping me if that weren’t the case. He’s never said it... but he also told me that blubbering out your feelings is a sign of weakness. I can’t be weak.

Even if it isn’t for my parents or honor... I can’t be weak for myself.

There’s another Wutain here, but she doesn’t get made fun of because of that. She’s kinda crazy, but I always thought she was cool. She’s short, but I heard she beat up Cloud once. Maybe I should have her talk to Rufus sometime. Maybe she just needs a guide, and maybe he can find her one.

Truthfully, back long ago in time, I used to follow Reno like I do Rufus now. Maybe I had a bit of a crush on him... but there’s no weirdness between us. Besides, he’s too... unpredictable. Like an animal sometimes. A great friend, but he’d be a terrible boyfriend. Only the likes of...

I don’t want to think about that right now. Sure, I gave him advice, but truthfully, I hope he sends that asshole packing. Sephiroth has all this power... and he doesn’t use it for anything. It’s just a waste. That and he reminds me just how weak I still am, just how imperfect I look.

I hope Yuffie never stops stealing his lunch money.

I do hope Rufus isn’t on the phone the whole time for this visit. Again. I need training, I need knowledge. I need... him. I’m still an apprentice. Magic doesn’t flow in my veins as readily, not without a few encouraging words.

He might just dismiss me for today. I wonder what I would do with my free time. Maybe I’ll go find Elena... I haven’t seen her around so much anymore. That silly Cloud business has pulled her away from us. But that guy has strength, so I think it’s good for her. Maybe it’ll mellow her out a bit.

She and Reno are lucky though. They don’t need a guide... they’re plenty strong. No one would forget their name when they walked into a room. They don’t need magic. Elena’s sturdy as those awful dwarves she likes so much, and Reno is as quick and decisive as an elf. All I can ever hope to do in their presence is play healer when they overextend themselves. Even that doesn’t always work, considering my lack of skill.

Because the only spell I’ve mastered... is how to make myself invisible.