Midgar High School

The Witch

by Vester

I have seven brothers and sisters, both older and younger than me. We all live in the same house, with my parents and my father's mother as well. I live in a small attic room with a slanted wooden ceiling that smells like mice and dust.

It is my favorite place in the world. If I lay very still, I can hear my family moving downstairs, the children screaming and my brothers' video games and my mother talking on the phone.

I worry about things a lot. Myself, mostly. I'm kind of selfish that way. I'm not like Aeris, who always seems to think about everyone else. I don't know how she manages it. Maybe it's all the drugs. If I were happy for everyone like that...I think I would be stretched too thin and break.

...

Someone just walked up the stairs. When the little kids run downstairs early Saturday mornings, they always wake me up. Their steps seem to echo in this room.

...

A...boy talked to me today. I knew his name before he told me, but I pretended that I didn't.

Cloud Strife.

We used to play with each other when we were little. I didn't think he remembered, so I didn't say anything. I didn't want him to...feel bad.

Like everyone else seems to when they talk to me.

...

Aeris invited me to her party today. It happened so quickly that I couldn't come up with a reason not to. That's another way we're different. She forces, and I have no choice but to take in her kindness; there's so much of it. I hate charity, but not as much as Zack seems to. I appreciate what she is trying to do. I just...wish I didn't need it.

I could see her face when she was talking to me; I know she doesn't really want me there. There was a gamble in her eyes: Will she be fun? Would she be entertaining at my party?
The answer is no. I don't know why she asked me. Pity, maybe?

...

Cloud Strife.

...

The reason that I couldn't refuse Aeris was because of him. He offered to pick me up. And I wanted it so badly that...I said I would go.

I wish I didn't. I don't want to. It makes me want to cry, every time I think about it.

...

Can I even admit to myself? That I think Cloud is...

...

...I guess I can't. It's too unrequited. The best relationships are imaginary. There is no heartbreak in love when it isn't real.

...

What will it be like, driving with him to the party? Will we talk to each other? Will he joke around, like he did before? Will it be awkward? Will we sit there in silence, horribly uncomfortable, until we get there? Will sitting in the passenger seat...feel like going on a date with him?

I don't want him to feel obligated to know me. I would rather die than feel that pity stemming from him. Not him. God, not him.

...

Aeris and the other girls...in class today. They seemed so happy...and I couldn't join them. It was like a wall was separating us, and I was stuck to my seat with glue. I could only watch.

Why couldn't I do it? Why couldn't I let go?

...

I couldn't show him what I was drawing. Why? Would it have been so hard...? Maybe he would have stayed...and we could have talked more...and maybe...we could have been... the way I imagine us to be.

They say...that dreams come true. It's a lie. I live in my dreams. I don't know what I would dream if they came true.

...

I wish that...I could draw. I wish I were kind and noble. I wish Cloud Strife would talk to me, without feeling sorry for me. I wish...

I wish... I had someone.