Midgar High School

Vincent was starting to doubt the sanity of this arrangement. True, he hadn't expect Reno to be so clever... but then again, he had a few tricks up his sleeve.

He had a plan. The archaic dictionary in his locker would hopefully help with one aspect. Though, his memorization skills were poor, so hopefully mimicking Cid would be enough...

He was going to Hell.

"You about ready to start, prick?" Reno said, standing like he owned the place. Vincent had to admit, it would be interesting to hear an entire conversation without Reno's colorful language. Yes, it would be fun. And hopefully worth the degredation to his own image.

"Ready when you are, you little... shit." He had to think like Cid... like Cid... it was going to be a trying three days.

Reno smirked. He must have sounded really strange. He even felt it. If only term number four wasn't there... he would have no problems.

Goodbye decency. I will miss you.

He shook the red devil's hand and the bet had begun. Now he just had to keep Tifa away for three days...

---

"Don't even think about trying to weasel out of this. I've got a spy network. I'll know as soon as you mess up," Reno said, concentrating to make sure he did not swear.

It might be a little more difficult than he had

"As I will you, you...fucker," Vincent replied, grimacing.

Reno grinned. "It's like you're f-" he paused, blinked, then continued. "It's like you're freaking dying."

Vincent frowned, "No 'freaking,' no substitutes that sound just like it...damn it."

Reno shrugged, "Okay, okay. I didn't know. What about...like, dang?"

Vincent shook his head. "No." And just as Reno opened his mouth in triumph he quickly inserted, "You little...shit."

Reno slumped. "Why the f-...er, uh. Why in the world not? Dang isn't bad, it's almost f-...girly, it's so innocent."

Vincent shook his head. "No, damn it. You are supposed to be acting decent for once, you blaggard. That...word is still...shit...used as if it were a curse word."

Reno sighed. "Fine. I'll play along. And at the end, I'm going to enjoy my f-...fine mind control potion. Heh heh heh."

Vincent glowered. "Remember the other conditions of the bet...damn it."

Reno shook his head. "You can't just say that one all the time. You've got to drop the F-bomb sometimes. And yeah, I remember, don't worry."

The other conditions...those would be the really hard ones. Not cursing would be a little tricky, but not as tricky as Vincent probably thought it would be. He would just have to concentrate. But the other ones...

Being nice to girls and Sephiroth? Elena and Sephiroth would KILL HIM for trying it!

And telling everybody exactly what was going on with Sephiroth? Elena would fucking KILL HIM!

And then not having sex with Sephiroth for three days...damn it. That was the fucking clincher. Reno was going to DIE from that one, and not because of need. It would be more because Sephiroth would probably go crazy and KILL HIM when he couldn't explain why not!

So, Reno was going to die, either by Elena's hand or by Sephiroth's.

But it was worth it. If he got his hands on one of those mind control potions...

With one of those...he would be able to rule the world...for REAL.

Valentine's face was completely priceless. He looked like he was about to blow chunks. This bet was going to be easy to win.

He grinned to himself and thought about how he could avoid Sephiroth and Elena for the next three days...

---

Tifa, it seemed, had decided that today would be "stalk Vincent Valentine" day. If it weren't for the fact he could dash around like a crazy thing and often saw her before she saw him, he would have... well, he wasn't sure what he would have done.

And Cid was certainly not helping.

"I think it's an improvement, you uptight little shit," he said, appearing behind him just outside the emergency exit from the Art wing. The emergency exit that didn't ever work right due to some... tinkering. Vincent had mistakenly gone to class, and was sitting at his table before he realized that Tifa always attended that class.

And of course, Cid was doing illegal activities right outside.

"Ninnyhammer, I am trying to hide lest she discover my new habit." Cid quirked an eyebrow and leaned back against the wall. At least with the more archaic swearing, he merely felt silly, not damned.

I am even... thinking that way. Red devil...

"So, you just changed yer mind about being some Victorian prude and don't want to let yer girlfriend know?" Vincent glared.

"Cidney, dammit, she is not my girlfriend... it is in-um, well, it just will not happen." Cid rolled his eyes.

"Nope, the words are slightly different but yer still such a damn wuss. Hell, if you don't ask 'er out soon, I will, just to piss you off." Vincent narrowed his eyes.

"I will...fucking... eat you, friend or no." Cid laughed at his threat.

Just then, the door opened, and a familiar brown hair topped head peeked out.

"Vincent...? Are you out here?" he still remained unseen, and pressed up against the wall, "Oh... Cidney? Have you seen Vincent around? I've been looking for him all day. I'm worried, he usually goes to school now." Cid smirked the smirk of a man who knew he had the upper hand over someone.

Vincent closed his eyes and prepared for the onslaught.

"Well... not sure. He's been acting funny lately, yanno. Prolly a girl or something." Tifa must not have been looking, for Vincent could almost swear Cid winked at him. He had to swallow down a growl and keep from leaping at the other boy.

No, it was more like he had to dig his hands into the wall.

"Oh... I should... just go to class then..." she muttered and Vincent sent the best glare he could from his position pressed up against the wall.

"I wouldn't worry about 'im. Actually, it's prolly just... yanno, that time of the month for 'im. Swear, he's got PMS or something."

Vincent let a small growl escape. Luckily for him, Tifa had simply laughed at Cid and closed the door. When his heart rate had returned to normal, he lunged.

"You... fucking asshole... what are you doing?!" He had yet to realize that the position in which Cid was dangling was uncomfortable. He had to watch that choke tendency.

Though, Cidney dangling in the air by his throat was amusing.

"Dammmit... le..t...me...go...psycho..." he sputtered out and Vincent smirked. But as was becoming quite the problem for him lately, his momentary arrogance didn't let him see a very important detail.

Namely the one who had re-opened the door and was staring wide-eyed at him.

"Vincent! Put Cidney down!" she said in a disciplinarian tone as soon as she regained her senses. Vincent immediately dropped said friend, and stood like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Lookit who decided to grace us with his PMS-y prescence!" Cid coughed out, rubbing his throat. Vincent looked at the ground.

"What... maybe I don't want to know." She looked at both boys suspiciously before settling on Vincent.

"We have class, silly. No time to play... whatever you and Cidney were doing." She tugged his arm, surprisingly strong when she was stubborn, and he had only enough time to throw Cid a pleading look before he was shut in.

He could almost swear Cid winked at him again. Bastard.

---

It was the perfect chance. Once in a lifetime. An opportunity like this would never come around again. Ever.

Reno cursed (internally, of course). Why did it have to happen today, of all fucking days?

He was standing right behind Sephiroth, staring at his back. Sephiroth was leaning down, getting a rather extensive drink from a fountain, and the best part?

He had no idea Reno was behind him.

Reno lifted his arms, hands twitching with uncontrollable need. It would be so, so easy to just dunk Sephiroth's face in the water. It would be hilarious, it would be priceless, and it would finally give Sephiroth a little pain in return for that pop-can ghost incident.

Reno's left eye began to twitch. Sephiroth continued to drink, blissfully unaware of the half-crazed redhead standing behind him.

The bet! The fucking bet! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!

His hands twitched. But...but...?

NO!

His eye twitched. But...maybe just a...little bit?

NO! THINK OF THE FUCKING SNEAK ATTACK DECK, BOY!

His shoulders slumped, his arms went limp and he stared glumly at the tiled floor.

Ah...shit. This SUCKS ASS.

Sephiroth finally stopped drinking like a camel and turned around, wiping his mouth with his arm. Seeing Reno, he froze, a little spooked. Reno was just standing there without looking up at him, utterly miserable. Sephiroth looked from side to side to make sure there was no one else in the hallway (he knew that Reno was still insecure, and plus, Elena would keel them if she happened to see anything).

"Hey, Re," he said.

No answer except for one long, dejected sigh.

Sephiroth frowned. "What's wrong? Your dog die?"

"Ah, it's f-..." He sighed again, not meeting his eyes. "It's...nothing. I just had the perfect opportunity to finally scare you, and I didn't use it."

Sephiroth looked at him quizzically. "Why...didn't you?"

"Because I'm a f-...good person. I don't know. It would have been too mean," Reno said through clenched teeth, evading his eyes.

Sephiroth scratched his head. "Okay, man. Whatever you say."

Reno sighed yet again. He looked so melancholy that Sephiroth instinctively pressed a hand to Reno's forehead, leaning closer. "Do you have a fever or something? Are you sick?"

Reno still didn't look at him. "Nah." He sounded a trifle more cheerful, and the blushing was always a good sign.

Sephiroth grinned, moving his hands to cup his cheeks. "I don't know. You don't look so good to me. We should skip school and take you to a doctor."

He looked up, startled. "No fu-haloooooodooooolooo..." Reno trailed off, blushing.

Sephiroth frowned. "What the fuck?"

Just one more syllable and that would have been it right there! You've got to be more fucking careful, boy! Concentrate! Think white mage!

"I meant...no way. There's no way I'm going to see some f...crackhead doctor. I hate 'em," Reno growled.

Sephiroth closed one eye, thinking. "Okay. No doctor then." He pressed his forehead against Reno's and whispered, "Unless they make you squeal like a girl. If that's the case, then we have to go, little shit."

Reno shook his head. "They don't make me squeal like a girl, because nothing does, you b..."

He stopped, then looked down, even more intensely miserable than before.

Sephiroth blinked, absently brushing at Reno's hair. "What is it?"

Reno sighed again and clenched his teeth. "It's nothing."

Sephiroth kissed his cheek, then his ear, murmuring, "Whatever it is, don't worry about it, alright?"

He nodded, eyes closed and drifting. Sephiroth trailed little bites along his jaw. His head seemed to tilt back of its own accord. "I think we should skip school anyway, what do you think?"

Reno froze. Oh my dear fucking lord. He wants sex.

"Uh...I don't..." And right then Sephiroth found that spot on his neck, and his brain instantly turned into so much mush. "Uhmmgaaaaaaaaaaah..."

His arms instinctively twined around Sephiroth's neck, pulling him closer. They hit a wall; Reno was squeezed between, warm. He always smelled so fucking good...

"I...uh..." his eyes rolled. "I...wait, Seph, wait."

Sephiroth made a deep noise into Reno's throat, running his hands down his sides, plucking at his shirt. Reno couldn't get his lungs to work right, couldn't get his eyes to open. "Wait. Wait!"

Sephiroth paused, shook his head as if to clear it, and leaned his head on Reno's shoulder, looking at him with one eye. "What?" he muttered, voice strange, deeper than usual. He swallowed, trying to get a hold of himself.

"I..." Reno closed his eyes, panting softly. "I...can't."

Sephiroth stiffened, stood back a little. "What?"

Reno blushed, looked to the side. "I can't. Not for a..." Damn it, why did I ever agree to this? What the HELL was I thinking? "...couple of days."

Sephiroth's face was absolutely unreadable. "Why not, Reno." It wasn't a question; it was a demand for an answer.

"I...can't tell you." He wasn't brave enough to meet his eyes, but he did tighten his arms around Sephiroth's neck. "I'm sorry."

He saw Sephiroth's jaw clench. He pulled back more. Louder. "Why not."

"I said I...can't tell you," Reno said, hating himself for that look in Sephiroth's eyes. "I..."

Sephiroth turned, breaking Reno's grip and walking away without another word.

Shitfuckshitfuckshitfuck...! No! Fucking HELL!

"Wait!"

Sephiroth stopped, but did not turn.

"Wait!" He reached him, touched his back, turned, brought his face to his level. "Listen to me." Hands in his hair, touching and white and soft and green eyes, so hard. "It's not about you. It's me being selfish. I'm sorry. Please don't go...I'm sorry. I can't...I can't tell you, but don't leave like that."

Shit, don't cry, boy!

He breathed through his mouth, in and out. "Sephiroth, don't leave."

Sephiroth's eyes seemed to break; he gathered Reno to him, sighing. "I won't..."

Reno closed his eyes, held him. "I'm sorry." Another sigh.

Why the fuck am I doing this, again? Damn it, Valentine, I'm going to fucking kill you the next time I see you, you ugly gothic fucktard!

---

Vincent remembered why he hated art. It was big, bald, and staring at him from behind sunglasses that probably hid lasers instead of eyes. Why he was being paid attention to was confusing as all heck to him, as the teacher often just let him go to the nurse and be off. But then again, maybe it was his previous associations with…

Good Gaea, would he never be rid of that wench?

“You. Stop brooding. Draw.” Mr. Rude was a man of few words and usually they were straight to the point. Except Vincent hadn’t been paying attention the entire class, and didn’t know what he was supposed to be drawing. He knew it wouldn’t be anything indecent like those nudes artists tended to clamor about… but then again, he also didn’t think he’d ever get into a bet with Reno.

As soon as the laser eyes left him, he slouched down and put his forehead on the desk. Yes, it was dramatic. Maybe he’d go into theater later on. Be some grand tragic actor in small theaters. Right, even his aspirations seemed a little small.

Bloody hell, it is not like you have a talent for anything.

He knew at least he had to do something… or face the wrath of a man that could break him in half. Demons or not, he was still a fairly thin teenage boy. Mr. Rude probably used his kind as a for a baseball bat.

He craned his neck over to look at Tifa’s drawing. Maybe then he could figure out what sort of mundane thing he had to doodle so he could get through this class in peace. Tifa hadn’t spoken to him, so he hadn’t explained himself as of yet. She also seemed pretty focused as to what she was doing.

When he saw what she had done… he couldn’t recognize it. At all. It was a blob of lines and… shading. Yes, she had paid good attention to the shading. On the weirdest pieces of the thing.

“Mr. Valentine. Turn your angst into art. Now.” Tifa looked up when Mr. Rude spoke and Vincent had a moment that seemed to occur too often these days. His entire life, that worthless seventeen years of confusion, flashed before his very eyes. He had been caught, and Tifa knew it.

“Please… don’t look. I-I’m not… very good.” Well, that was certainly an understatement. A person had to be good first in order to not be very good. Why was she one of the class favorites? Maybe… no. He was old. And Vincent would eat him. Well, once he put his body back together after being destroyed. Rude was still big.

But Tifa looked… sad. She always looked a little sad, it was fairly cute, but he had apparently stumbled into a particular point of shame on her part.

Oh… I have to fix this. How do I say something nice with a curse word?

He closed his eyes and channeled Cid. Well, he tried to at least. Tifa was the witch, Cid was the vagabond… he was just the weirdo who tagged along. But he was a weirdo with a plan. So he opened his mouth.

“That’s some… good… shit.” Oh, that didn’t come out right. And judging by her wide-eyed and gaping expression, not right at all. He was in for it. He was sure that not just his own life flashed before his eyes that time… maybe his ancestors. Something.

“T-that’s not very nice, Vincent. At least be honest with… me.” Cyanide and a really sappy note. Maybe that would fix this. Or maybe slamming his forehead back onto the tabletop.

Yes, that worked nicely. He even saw spots that time.

Maybe that’s when the mumbling started. He was never sure when he did so, it just… happened. Sometimes he wondered if it was another being entirely, but that would have been far too convenient. He could only blame everyone else, damn that heretical Jenova thing, so much.

He was going to blame Reno this time.

Something soft and papery landed on his head. It almost got away from him, as his reaction to the contact was both spastic and exaggerated. But once he got a handle on it, he stared. And stared at it. And stared some more. Pink paper only meant on thing, and it was not good.

“What the hell did I do?!” He demanded, looking up into the laser hiding sunglasses. For once, he wasn’t concentrating on his cursing… it just flowed. This was not a good thing. At all.

Tifa had gone silent and wouldn’t look at him. Just great. Peachy. A detention and his, well whatever she was, wouldn’t talk to him.

When the bell rang, he mumbled an excuse to Tifa involving an archaic word and made for the outside. He would stay away from classes for the rest of the day. He couldn’t leave completely… that detention made it impossible.

With the rest of his day spent avoiding getting smacked by the skater kids, Vincent was almost ready for detention. Looking forward to it, in fact. Tifa wouldn’t be there, she was a good kid. Cid might, in fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

But what he didn’t expect, at least not right away was the kid sitting in the front row.

“Oh hell, Reno, this almost makes this abomination worth it.”

---

(you can so totally explain how Reno got into detention if you want, flashback if you need to, Vester.)