Midgar High School

Reno stumbled out of the room, awkwardly tripping over a trashcan before he got the door unlocked. He didn't look back when he closed the door behind him.

(He had said something, he couldn't even remember what it was...something spiteful, something mean. That look transformed Se...Se...his face. It was that old enraged look (Reno had always been proud of making others lose their control, without losing it himself)...and...)

Run...have to escape...

Se...Sephir...? Don't...think about it...!

(he was larger than he was; he was going to hurt him, he was going to consume him, he was going to kill him...)

No! No! He shook his head; his hands were trembling.

He was so tired...where in the hell was Tseng? He rubbed his face.

I need to sleep...I need to...

(and the force of his personality was overwhelming; his anger and confusion and masculinity were surging around them in a red fog...)

Reno opened his eyes, only half-conscious, stepping forward without thinking. He was moving down an empty hall, subconsciously heading toward Rufus' office and Tseng and everything was blurry on the edges. He was thinking so hard about not thinking...

(...but it was the same as always...the same as all the other times he had gotten beat up for opening his mouth, until...)

There was the door; he opened it without preamble. There was Tseng, looking startled. Rufus was by the window, talking on a cell phone, ignoring them.

Reno had the urge to tell him everything then and there, but Tseng looked worried and nervous, and Reno had always hated that look on him, and the words wouldn't come out. He did not want to think about it, in any case...at least, not now...

...I need to sleep...I need to...

(his face was so close to his; it was deeply personal, like getting beaten up had never been before. It had always been impersonal with Se...se...him. It had never really been about Reno. It had always, always just been about him, and Reno had almost respected that, but...then...)

"Tseng, play Magic with me," he ordered, and Reno knew that he must have sounded crazy. But he needed him to understand, he needed him to just please do what I say for once without asking why!

Reno missed the quick glance that Tseng shot toward Rufus. "Um...Reno? What are you doing here?"

"Now," he said, almost desperate. I need you to...

(the boundaries of space and association were broken, perhaps irredeemably. There was a strange expression on his face the instant before it happened, like he was giving something up forever; his eyes had been so strange, intense...)

I don't want to know this about you! I don't even care about you!

Tseng had that look still; the coward really didn't care and Reno hated that look. "I'm kinda busy..."

Reno's eyes narrowed; one of his defenses was gone. Tseng looked confused still, but Reno wordlessly turned his heel and walked away. Tseng did not follow him.

(his hands were gripping his shirt, his lips were cool and slightly chapped and surprisingly gentle, given his earlier rage. His long hair was touching his face, brushing his eyes. It smelled like...)

I don't care!

He was back in Sex Ed before he realized that he was walking anywhere. When he walked in, everyone was looking at him; he felt vulnerable, a feeling he had not felt in a while. Then, in almost the same instant, he realized that almost everyone in the room was completely stoned.

"What in the bowels of Diablo is going on here?"

Aeris and Shera instantly jumped all over him. The others were babbling to each other in their euphoria. Elena was there; he peeled her face away from his leg to talk to her. He felt overwhelmed. “Elena, play Magic with me.”

Play with me, talk to me, help me not to think...

She looked up and grinned, "Have a cookie, Re!"

He frowned. "You're in no condition to play," he said gently, stripping her off.

"Group hug!" Aeris cried, glomping right and left. I can’t do this...not now...

"Sorry, kids. I have to go," Reno muttered, finally extricating himself. He ignored their drug-induced hysteria at his parting, and firmly closed the door behind him. Elena did not follow him.

...Elena, how could you...? I really needed your help...

(shampoo and he smelled like soap. He was touching Reno's cheek gently, but by then Reno had gotten a grip on the nightstick, and...)

No, stop!

(he pressed the switch, shoving the butt end into his stomach and jerking away so the current would not run back into him. Reno felt him shudder and then he fell unconscious to the ground. And...)

I don't care!

(Reno stood there for a moment, violence in his hand and...)

I'm so tired...

(felt so sick at his own brutality. He stared at Se...his unconscious body in horror. He wasn't supposed to act like this! He was the one that was supposed to protect others from people like him! What would his sisters think? What would his father think!?)

I don't care about you!

Don't force your cruelty onto me!

He leaned heavily against the wall outside. "Today sucks."