Midgar High School

I couldn't sleep. Even the darkness was bright, but it was comfortable. My eyes still counted the pencil marks in the ceiling, negating the angles where Reno's sister had to have been contemplating something and tossing her pencil into the soft places above her.

I sat up, I didn't want to sleep and I'd gone through all the dressers already. I had found an ashtray and matches and occupied myself with striking them, watching each one burn down to my fingertips and caressing them before I let it fall to the glass tray.

I liked how the fire danced; it stung my eyes at just the right places.

But the matches were gone and I still wanted to dance.

I picked up my sword, for some reason it made my burnt hand feel… right. I turned to go outside. The moon was hiding, sometimes it came out, sometimes it didn't.

"Can you use it?"

"eh a little."

So I told a little white lie. I knew full well how to use it, I had for years, my mother taught me. But it was something special between the two of us, I don't even think my father knew.

I pulled the hair tie and the bandanna from the sheath, putting my hair out of my way and removing the distraction of the brightness. Casting the sheath away then, I danced.

--

I slipped off of my bed and tripped toward the bathroom, where I rinsed my face off in a vain effort to convince myself that sleep was good.

On the way back to my room, I noticed that Sephiroth's door was wide open.

Sephiroth's door? Since when had my sister's room turn into Sephiroth's room?

I passed by, glancing inside. He wasn't there. The bed was messy and there were a hundred spent matches in the trashcan, like he was a heavy smoker or something.

I blinked. So, where was the kid, then? Was he gone?

I wandered through the house, got a drink, and finally found him.

He was outside, playing with his sword. Although...it didn't look like playing. He looked like...he was... He was alone, and he was fierce-looking, like he had been before. Before all of this had happened.

His strokes were violent. It was mesmerizing. I went outside and crouched by the door, watching him, without saying anything.

He looked...different...

--

Forward, backwards, I sped myself up, working myself up. Drills turned to spinning, I could feel the blade slice the grass before me, it was nearly as long as I was tall. Made to be both shield and weapon. Spinning I switched hands, flipping the blade behind my back for a split second before I twirled again. The blade flipped before me- behind me and when it cut the air it hummed and sung.

My heart beat sped up with the blade, it drummed my rhythm and I chased it. I chased myself, another change of motion, change of hand-

-change of the wind.

I wasn't alone anymore. There was another pulse speeding up with my own. I wouldn’t have noticed him before. Before Monday, I had noticed Reno. But suddenly there was more to take my attention. I pivoted again and then halted, clippings of grass slid past my nose and I leveled the blade where I knew he was sitting. Blindfolded or not, I knew Reno.

--

I couldn't breathe for a second. I knew I must have looked funny, the expression on my face would have been priceless in any other circumstance, but...

He...was pointing his sword at me. It was close, like a line of light.

Pointed at my throat.

"S-Sephiroth! Don't kill me, okay!?"

--

I pulled the blade back; with my free hand I slid the black blindfold from my face. It was damp, my chest was heaving. I could feel myself start to smirk, I could smell it on him, the fear. His heart leapt into his throat begging to be set free. But then I stopped myself.

This was Reno. Not an enemy of mine and I didn't want him hurt. My smirk snaked to a smile. "Re, if I wanted you dead, I'd have prolly done it by now, don't you think?"

--

I didn't know what to say for a moment, seeing his face without the bandana, and the sword brilliant in his hand.

But I was never without words for long.

"Probably. But..." the normal teasing tone wouldn't come. I trailed off, looking at him. "..."

Sephiroth, your eyes are still glowing," I said quietly. And for once, I was completely serious.

--

He wasn't looking at me. And that bothered me. Sweat dripped down my nose and I could feel it against my cheek.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked, desperately changing the subject. We hadn't spoken- hadn't touched at all since he kissed me earlier.

He kissed me.

It was like I didn't want to break it. I was afraid to be too forward, and he was afraid of me.

--

I shook my head, then looked at the ground.

"You're really good at that, Seph." I still wasn't looking at him. His eyes...

"I thought you said that you only tried it out a few times. You didn't tell me you were a fucking swordsman."

I closed my eyes. "You've been holding out on me."

Ahh, so there was that teasing voice. I knew it would come back to me.

--

"It isn't… " I picked the sheath up and the blade hissed and I held it out for a moment before sitting it at his feet. I don't know if he got the symbolism in the act and I didn't care. I didn't want to be this awkward.

I sat next to him. "It isn't a big deal; I'm not like a "swordsman". I just, know how to use one." I was careful, personal space, personal space. I didn't want him afraid of me.

I sighed. "Hell, my mom isn't normal, but none of this is. You me and Tseng just spent the afternoon getting along. We had a fight with the school nurse and the lunch lady. I don't feel right anymore."

--

"Don't get me wrong," I said. "It's fucking cool." And as those words came out, I realized how much I hated giving him compliments.

It felt wrong, or made the air more awkward between us.

It was better to call him 'bastard' and make it impersonal.

I sighed. "Just don't worry about it. Nothing is supposed to be normal."

--

I wanted to ask about us. But the "u" word didn't want to work its way from my lips. Reno seemed to still want to shy away from me; he refused to look me in the face. It wasn't LIKE him. Reno wasn't submissive. It just wasn't in his character.

Yes, when I ordered back there, he did as he was told, but loyalty isn't submission. Wanting to protect me, no one had ever thought to do that before. And we both knew I didn't need it, and there he was anyway.

I didn't WANT to make him uncomfortable, but there was only so much I could do or take. I reached out and gripped him under the chin and pulled his head over to face me. The action wasn't rough, but he still wasn't looking.

Cupping his face in my sweaty hands I looked him in the eye. "Reno, are you afraid to me?"

--

Was I...? Was I afraid of him? What a question.

Was there a time before that I had been afraid of him before? When he was beating on Tseng, had I ever feared him?

When he was beating up on me...did I ever fear him then?

"No. I'm not afraid of you. I never was."

My voice didn't sound like mine. It was soft, like his hand.

--

"Then why won't you look me in the face? Why didn't you make fun of me all day? Why—" I wasn't going to ask him about kissing me.

I wasn't because when he said he didn't mean it…yes, it would disappoint me. I admit that.

"Prove it." I finished, letting go of his face.

--

It was dark, so he didn't see me blush. It wasn't fair that I was the one always blushing and he never, ever did. It was hot and rushing; I could hear the blood in my ears and my cheeks hot and stinging.

I didn't look at him. For the first time, I felt a jolt of something. Was I afraid? Now, of all possible times? I couldn't concentrate; I couldn't look at him. Why was I brave when it came to real, physical danger? And why was I such a coward in the face of things that wouldn't harm me?

Maybe I'm crazy. I can't face this. I was...worried about him. I enjoy his company. I hope that he doesn't leave.

There, that stab of fear again, sharp and white like his sword.

I hope that he doesn't leave. He keeps threatening to... If he leaves, then...

I have to be brave. I have to turn right now and tell him! He's right there!

I turn, I look at him. His face looks drawn and shadowed blue.

I open my mouth...

"What is this about?"

Not what I meant to say. I opened my mouth to take it back, to say something else, then closed it again.

I was...curious. To see what he would say. To see what he meant. Even if it meant...

Don't leave. Please.

--

It wasn't what I wanted to hear. It wasn't exactly what I didn't want to hear either. What WAS this about?

I was dangerous, that much was obvious. Physically and now that I was attacked in public? I could be dangerous by proxy. He had a family, people that loved him, cared about him.

What right did I have to put any of that in danger? Hells, what right did I have to barge in on him anyway?

"I want to know what you are scared of, Reno."

I didn't want to force anything, not anymore. I could let things happen. I didn't always have to alter things, to change them. Some things, very, very few, were perfect just the way they were.

--

"I'm not afraid of you," I said again, the first thing that popped into my head. That was important. That he knew that. He sounded so unsure.

I started blushing again, so badly that it physically stung. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as an excuse to break eye contact with his glowing green eyes. "I'm afraid of...what would happen to me if..."

I swallowed, hard. Everything concentrated down to a pinprick of light. "...if you really had died today."

Well, it was out. Kind of. He now knew I wanted him to be alive and kicking.

Oh, that's so lame. That's so fucking stupid!

What does it matter if you like him? He already told you he likes you back! There's nothing to be afraid of, you shit!

"I, uh..." I said, my cheeks burning. "I mean.."

"Sephiroth," I said, concentrating on his name. It was hard to say, a mouthful. And then, "I really like you. And I don't want you to go away."

--

If it weren't for the scars on his face, I wouldn’t have known that he was blushing. It seemed… out of place? Perhaps on him, but maybe it was when I could tell if he was being serious. They must have been deep cuts, they stood out light on his skin when he blushed.

Why the hell could we both come up with caustic remarks in half a second but if it came to being nice we were lost?

He said he liked me and he wanted me to stay, it was all I needed to hear, really. Who needs to hear the rest? I moved forward and brushed my lips with his, we both left our eyes open. Not like I was adept at this sort of thing, and to be honest, I think I wanted to see his face.

I backed away, or I tried to. Instead his hand found its way to the back of my head. He wasn't strong enough to push me, but his hand fisted in my hair and I let him pull me back to him. "Pushy little shit."

"Well if you weren't such a stubborn bastard, then I –"

I didn't let him finish. I leaned forward and kissed him again, this time my eyes were closed. The hand at the back of my head gripped my hair tighter, almost enough to sting and then he pushed forward. I wasn't ready for that and for a second I was the one trying to pull away.

We fell backwards, well forwards for Reno, off the porch and onto the grass. He smirked at me, that same, self satisfied smirk that I'd really wanted to see all day. He was about to talk again, but I took a cue from him and grabbed a hold of that messy ponytail.

You know all those love poems about "Sweet" this and "Gentile" that?

No. It isn't like that at all, it's much more fun and exciting than that.

--

Would it be completely insane for me to say that I saw it coming, us coming? It was not sudden. I had seen it the first time he had ever kissed me. I had seen it when I had hurt him. I had seen it when he sat broken next to his car, then in my house, with my family.

I had just been fooling myself. Tricking myself. All of that innuendo, all of the teasing, all of it. I had been doing it to myself.

And now we were a couple.

I guess.

The realization made me blush again. As revenge, I kissed him harder, fingers thick in his hair and wet with the dew-covered grass. After all of the damn teasing, the smug grins, the fake fights, the name-calling...after all of that, this seemed like a game, too.

--

We managed to get back into the house, I actually remembered my sword. But we didn't exactly make it through the house quietly. I tripped him on the stairs, leaning over and brushing my mouth against his neck.

Minutes later he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. We stood there, in between the bedroom doors for what must have been forever. We were both panting when he stepped back, letting me off the wall.

There was a tense moment of question, but, I think he was just as new to this as I was. He turned to his room, dragging a had over my chest before standing at his door.

"Ah…goodnight."

"See you in the morning." My lips felt a bit chapped, it wasn't a bad feeling.

"EVERY morning." He stressed.

I smirked, he was blushing.