Midgar High School

Was I supposed to meet Reno?

I couldn't remember. Talking with Vincent hadn't helped me; did I think that it would? It was surreal, leading them both to a meting table, slumping over it and in one moment, I understood something.

This was about me.

Hadn't it always been that way? Why was it bothering me now? Why, now, suddenly when I threw down the crown do I realize how alone I am? Once more why do I CARE? I'm Sephiroth.

Reno.

God damn him, maybe pushing him away all these years had been a good idea that I shouldn't have let up on. Being nice to him got me into this mess, well part of it. I know exactly what Elena and Tseng are thinking. It makes me angry; Reno's not stupid enough to let anyone cow him over.

And I'm better than that.

Yes, there I go, back to me again. He's right, I'm a bastard.

Do I want them to like me?

People being nice to me makes me uncomfortable, but it's a good uncomfortable. I don't have any reason for them to like me. I want to get away from here. I can start over.

Maybe I should go back and see if he wanted a ride home. Going back isn't…

…damns my head hurts, everything's too bright. It's like someone turned everything up on high. The grass smells like it's dying, the leaves are starting to spread like fire…

no, what was I thinking about again?

I feel scattered. I feel strange, but I'm not afraid and I should be. I should be more hurt, more worried, more…well why? If there was a reason for me to be worried, I think that I would be.

Am I above that too?

What did that bitch do to me? I hear them coming, but not all of them. Wedge is limping, his right leg drags; maybe it’s the cast on his arm throwing him off. Biggs sounds like a behemoth. I should run from them, not stand her on the field, with my back turned and waiting.

But I'm better than that.

When I look over my shoulder I see them, not the whole team, just ten of them, and they see me. Already Johnny is running scared. This is pathetic; it’s a fight, not a mob. Can't they think for themselves? Did they need a general so badly?

One of the linemen is the fastest, but I'm faster. I grab his outstretched arm and step to the side, his fall is graceful, the bone crackles- almost humming- before it snaps, like the crescendo of a song, a rising action smearing him in the dirt before me. I could have killed him, part of me debated it, and then I noticed them

Lucrecia and Hojo.

They were watching. They had planned this; they were still pulling my strings. I was still attached to something and I would have to make it let me go.

Freedom is an odd thing to think about when a fist connects with your face. But it consumed me. Every attack was something I expected, every blow I knew was coming, but I couldn't bring myself to just end it.

It was what my audience wanted. And they could give me a standing ovation for snapping bones, but the rising action has stopped there. I'm not going to let anyone control me, no matter how easy it would have been to twist Bigg's neck.

I knew I couldn't hold this up forever, falling.

My back hits the concrete, it would have been smart to run or to roll, but I couldn’t bring myself to. A well placed knock to the head.

Intermission.

When I open my eyes again, only one works. My shoulder is dislocated, but that can be fixed. It's too bright. But now, it's nearly quiet. I don't want to concentrate on the sounds.

Beaten down, alone, and by a dumpster. Broken but free is fine. Yes, I want friends, I want to be accepted I want to fix what I broke. But unlike bones and bruises, mental wounds won't go away.

I want to be accepted, but I won't beg for it.

I'm better than that.